


trial run

by ndnickerson



Category: Nancy Drew - Carolyn Keene
Genre: Engagement, Established Relationship, F/M, First Love, First Time, Loss of Virginity, Romance, Sharing a Bed, Wedding Planning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-12
Updated: 2017-01-12
Packaged: 2018-09-17 00:05:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9295535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ndnickerson/pseuds/ndnickerson
Summary: Nancy confides in Ned about something she's wanted for a while, a week before their wedding.





	

Nancy and Ned's wedding was a week away. Most of the hard stuff was done. Ned had gone to showers, helped Nancy pick out random kitchen items for their wedding registry, and listened to a million songs while they created a reception playlist. He had tasted wedding cakes and compared a hundred wedding invitations and debated honeymoon destinations.

He wasn't exactly wedding-ed out, and he was looking forward to saying his vows to Nancy and hearing hers in return, but the rest of it was exhausting. Tonight he was on a date with her, just a regular ordinary date, not a date that would be half taken up by wedding choices. Monogrammed or plain towels, gifts for their attendants, music for the ceremony... Ned was praying that it was done, that over the next week he would just need to get through whatever ridiculous bachelor party his friends had planned, the rehearsal dinner, the morning of. Then Nancy would be his wife.

Assuming she didn't take on a case. She had sworn not to. He had joked that if he had to, he would put his foot down and tie her to a chair until they had finished the ceremony. She had shot him her most withering glare in reply.

She had gotten better, he had to admit. He had even seen her turn her phone off while they were on dates, once they were engaged anyway. The first time, he had gasped in shock.

Early in their relationship, he wouldn't have known what to do with himself if Nancy had given him her full attention. Now he craved it; he couldn't get enough of it. Every hour with her made him desperate for two more. And now they would be spending the rest of their lives together.

"So?" Nancy put her fork down on her cleared dessert plate and smiled at him. Thanks to wedding, reception, honeymoon, and moving expenses, they were saving all the money they could everywhere else. The restaurant was low-key, and all around them were families and couples and groups of friends, loud and laughing. It wasn't the kind of place he usually liked to take her, once he had been able to afford it regularly, the kind of place with floor-length white tablecloths, flickering candlelight, a sommelier and a menu that changed with the chef's whims. This place was thoroughly Americanized, bold and overstuffed and nonthreatening.

Soon, their Saturday nights would be spent in his--their--apartment, cooking something together and making their own candlelight. Maybe boxed wine would be in the budget, to go with their instant mac and cheese. He couldn't wait.

"So," Ned replied. His own dessert was long gone, and he felt full and almost sluggishly sated. "One of our last dates before we're hitched."

The corners of her lips turned up. "Any cold feet?"

He shook his head. "I'm just ready," he told her. "All the planning and pressure... I wouldn't even care if it was just the two of us standing up there with the minister and no one else there watching. I wouldn't care if we went to the courthouse Monday morning and made it official. I just want to see the other side of it, you know? There's been all this build up for the ceremony, but what I really want is the day after."

"The beach in Tahiti."

He reached for her hand. "Being married to you," he told her. "No matter where we are, whatever else is going on. In a bikini or a ski sweater."

"Mystery or no mystery."

"Exactly."

She propped her chin up on her other fist, gazing at him for a long moment. Her deep blue eyes were thoughtful. "So much effort and planning and fuss that, really, is just for other people," she murmured. "Five years from now, will we care whether we had filet mignon or lobster at the reception? Or what color the bridesmaids' dresses were?"

"Probably not," he admitted.

"We love each other. I'll love you whether I'm wearing rags or the most expensive dress in the world."

Ned smiled. "And I'll love you too, Nan."

He could tell that she had something on her mind, but she gave her head a little shake. The waiter had delivered their bill with dessert, and Ned had already paid. "You wanna get out of here?" she said, smoothing her hair. Any teasing glint had left her eyes, and she didn't smile.

"Sure. Did you have something in mind?"

She nodded, glancing down. Then her gaze met his again, and her lips parted slightly. He wanted very badly to kiss her.

Once they were in her car together, she slid the key into the ignition, but didn't start it. Ned had already buckled his seat belt, and he turned his head to gaze at her with raised eyebrows.

"Um..." The corners of her mouth turned up slightly, but her smile held very little humor. "I think this is probably going to sound pretty silly, but... when my dad first told me what sex was, and he made it pretty clear that I should wait until my wedding night to have it... I thought really hard about that. I mean, I was thirteen..."

Ned smiled. "So it's been a while."

She nodded and tucked a loose strand of reddish-gold hair behind her ear. Her bare, toned arms were golden, lightly tanned. She looked effortlessly beautiful. "And he made it sound like maybe the guy I married would be a virgin too, and..."

Ned studied her face, since she wasn't really looking at him. He was looking for any sign of disappointment or anxiety, but he wasn't sure what he was sensing in her.

"So I thought... I _never_ said this to him, not at all. But the idea of being a virgin on my wedding night and the guy I married not knowing what we were doing either... it didn't sound good to me. Everything I've ever seen about having sex for the first time... it just sounds traumatic and awkward and frightening. Ending a wedding day with that just sounded... I don't know."

"Like an imperfect ending to a perfect day," Ned suggested.

"Yeah. Something like that." She glanced into his face, then away again. "Stupid barely-a-teenager me decided that it'd be better if I married a guy who was experienced. I'd be a virgin but he would know what he was doing. And I wouldn't mind that he had been with other women. It would just be a sign that he was a masculine guy. And it sounds even more stupid, saying that out loud." She shook her head. "I was just afraid, I think.

"And then I thought--what if the guy I marry and I, we're just not--what if it doesn't _work_? What if we're not good together in bed? It would be better to know that before the wedding night, right?"

The interior of the car was warm thanks to the summer heat, but Ned had absolutely no intention of asking her to roll down the windows. Not while they were where other people could overhear them. "Being married is more than sex," he said gently. "I mean, you know that. And it's probably not gonna be great the first time. Despite our... practice."

During their engagement, they had shared a bed a handful of times; they had become more intimate, more vulnerable with each other, but she had told him a long time ago that she wanted to wait until her wedding night to go all the way, and he had respected that. He had gone along with her lead in bed. And once she had agreed to marry him, he had been glad that she had wanted to wait. During her flirtations with other guys, he hadn't needed to worry that she was having casual, possibly unprotected, sex with them.

"I know."

"Are you really worried that we won't be good together in bed? I... for me, anyway, what we've done so far... I think we have insanely good chemistry and... I love how curious and playful you are, when we're together that way. I don't think it's anything you should be freaking out about."

She met his gaze for longer than she had during their entire conversation so far. "Thanks," she said softly.

He reached over and touched her hand. She laced her fingers between his, and kept gazing into his eyes. He couldn't look away.

"I told you this was going to sound silly." She took a deep breath. "I told myself that if my fiancé and I had sex the night before our wedding, it would be so close that it wouldn't even count, not really. And then our wedding night wouldn't be as scary or awkward. But we have so much going on, and... do you have the key to the cabin at Fox Lake on you?"

Ned nodded. His heart was beating harder as he searched her eyes.

"I couldn't be more sure that I want to marry you. That this, this relationship with you, is exactly where I'm supposed to be. And if you feel the same way... Ned, my very nearly husband... um, would you want... to make love with me tonight?"

He waited a few seconds, but she didn't seem to be joking. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I think so." She took a deep breath. "I mean, I might lose my nerve... but I packed a little nightie I got during my lingerie shower, and... I think it will make things easier on our wedding night. That I won't be--quite so scared anymore."

"You're afraid?"

She nodded. "It's not that I think you don't know what you're doing," she rushed to assure him. "Not at all. Just that _I_ don't. And--it's stupid. Isn't it."

He shook his head. It had been years since he'd had sex--the entire duration of their relationship, in fact. "I get it," he told her quietly. "Nan, if you want this... then yes. Let's go by the store, because I'm going to need protection and some lube, and we can just... see what happens. I don't want you to be nervous or afraid on our wedding night either."

"Really?"

"If you're sure."

"Yeah." She nodded, and her lips turned up again. "Yes."

\--

The drive out to the Fox Lake cabin was long enough to give her several hundred opportunities to second-guess herself, to call herself a complete idiot for doing this. She had been so young when she had decided that she didn't want her wedding night to mean the awkward, painful loss of her virginity. She considered herself a mature, intelligent adult... and yet. That anxiety had lingered.

She second-guessed herself again when they split up at the store. Ned went for condoms and lube, and she was glad she wasn't there to watch, scarlet-faced and fighting her mortification. Instead she picked out a bottle of wine, six candles, and a few snacks in case their exertions made them hungry.

Nancy couldn't believe Ned had said yes. She had been expecting him to, but that she had actually worked up the nerve to ask him... everything still felt a little unreal.

She called home on the way out, just to let Hannah know she would be back in the morning, her cheeks aflame the entire time. She was waiting for Hannah to ask why, to give away that she _knew_ , but Hannah just told her to have a good night and said she would have something ready for lunch. Then it was done, and there was no going back. The closer they were to the cabin, the harder her heart was beating.

It felt like no time at all before she was pulling a sweet cream-colored nightie over her thighs, the neckline and hem decorated with blush-pink roses and delicate lace. The cabin was still warm from the summer heat, but they had turned on the air. The vanilla candles helped the slight mustiness.

Nancy glanced down at her engagement ring and pressed her lips together. She felt like this was right. She hoped it was.

A month ago, she had gone to the doctor and asked for the birth control implant; given her unpredictable schedule and the fact that she and Ned didn't want to have children for a few years, it seemed like the best option. She didn't blame Ned for wanting to use condoms, too. Maybe that was the most comfortable way for him. Maybe he just wanted to make it more comfortable for her.

Ned was already in the bedroom when she opened the bathroom door and stepped out, her teeth freshly brushed, hair brushed, long legs smooth and silky. He had placed the box of condoms and the lube on the bedside table, and he sat at the edge of the bed, wearing a pair of white boxers with a thin blue pinstripe. He looked incredibly handsome.

"Oh, sweetheart. You look beautiful."

She smiled and smoothed the skirt of her gown. "Thanks," she murmured. "You look gorgeous."

Ned chuckled. "You have me at a disadvantage," he pointed out. "I couldn't plan for this like you could. I'm not complaining, though."

"Really? Because it sounds like you are," she teased him.

He beckoned her, and she stepped closer to him. "Seriously--if you change your mind, it's okay. Just tell me you want to stop."

"And then you'll call me a tease."

He took her hands in his. "I didn't expect this," he told her. "I'm excited beyond belief, but no. A week from right now, we'll be in bed together... and yeah, I've always thought we would have sex that night, but the same rule is on the table. You want to stop, we stop."

She gave him a small smile. "We have to have sex on our wedding night," she said. "It's the rule. 'You may now kiss the bride--and deflower her before the sun comes up again.'"

"Mmm. I prefer it the way you said earlier. We'll be making love."

"Why is it 'making'?" she mused, sitting down beside him on the bed. "Why not 'having' or 'experiencing,' or 'sharing'? All the euphemisms are so strange."

He nodded. "You're still nervous," he said, gazing directly into her eyes, still holding her hands. "Is there anything I can do to help you calm down?"

She shrugged. "I don't know," she admitted softly. "You've done this before. Don't you get nervous too?"

He smiled. "Well, it's been a while, but I think we can muddle through," he murmured, releasing one of her hands so he could stroke her cheek. "And yeah, I do get nervous. Of course I do. It's a big responsibility to be your first."

"My only."

"Your only." He leaned forward and gave her a slow, sweet kiss, and she shivered as she returned it. They were so close to naked. And she wasn't scared, she was just... she didn't know what to expect.

Ned kissed her again, then again. "I love you," he murmured against her earlobe, and his fingers were tracing the strap of her gown. "You're the love of my life, Nan. There will never be anyone else for me."

She stroked his cheek. "Never again," she whispered.

He shook his head. "I never loved anyone until I loved you," he told her softly. "I had no idea what it meant or how it could be. So this is the first time I'm doing this with the person who means the world to me. Yeah, it's some pressure."

She smiled. "Me too," she told him.

He kissed her again, over and over, until her head was spinning, and whenever he gently moved her, she went along with it. They ended up lying down on the bed, with her leg draped over him and his palm stroking her back.

"Don't I need to take my panties off?" she asked when he pulled back.

Ned laughed. "Well, you know, whenever," he teased her. "When you just can't fight how attracted you are to me anymore."

"And--the wine? I think that would help."

He cupped her cheek; his smile had faded. "Is that how you imagine it?" he murmured. "Is that how you want it to be?"

She searched his eyes. "I--is that wrong?"

He stroked his thumb over her skin. "It's okay if we have some wine," he told her. "But I don't want us to be drunk for this."

"Oh! No, I don't want that either. I... oh, I guess it's just... part of how I thought it would be, to be grown up, when I was younger. Champagne or wine. Candlelight. Silk... and a handsome man who loved me."

"Then we have almost everything," he said with a smile. "I'll go pour us some glasses."

As soon as he was gone, Nancy sat up, taking deep breaths, and gingerly touched her flushed cheeks. She propped up the pillow behind her and looked around at the candles, and the moonlight she could see beyond the window. She supposed that, for most women, the whole ritual of the wedding, the wedding night, was fulfillment of a long-held fantasy. She shouldn't feel so silly about all this, about realizing something that lingered in her mind for a long time.

It felt both forbidden and safe, to do this. Ned would never hurt her, and they were a week away from their wedding. All the time they had ever spent in bed, she had enjoyed. Sometimes it had been funny and strange, sometimes beautiful and sweet, but she had loved being close to him.

Ned returned bearing two glasses of wine, and Nancy smiled. "Perfect," she said. "Thanks for indulging me."

Ned laughed as he placed one beside her. "Always," he said. "I hope this helps you relax a little."

It did. They sipped wine and talked, and Ned started to stroke her, gently. He ghosted his fingers against her thigh, just under the hem of the nightie she wore, over her side. When he first grazed her breast, she shivered. "That feels good," she murmured.

"Mmm. Are you drunk?"

She shook her head and smiled at him. "But I feel really good," she told him. "Warm and happy. I like it when you touch me."

"I like it when you touch me, too."

"Here." She finished the rest of her wine quickly, setting the glass aside so she could caress and stroke him like he was stroking her. She touched his hip, and when the heel of her hand brushed against his erection, he made a quiet noise.

"How did you imagine it?" she asked him suddenly.

He blinked. "You mean--our first time?"

"Yeah."

"Hmm." He finished the rest of his wine too and set the glass aside, then moved close to her. "Slow and sweet. And then after, you'd be overcome by what a generous lover I was..."

She giggled, sensing that he was teasing her again. "So overcome that I'd... what?"

"That it would be perfect. And you'd want to make love again. And that won't happen, but..."

"What does 'generous lover' mean?"

"That I'd do a lot just to make you happy, not for myself. And I'd make sure you came before I did."

"Oh." She shifted her hips as he pushed her gown up to reveal her panties. "Are you a generous lover?"

"I try to be. I will be, with you."

"I need to be a generous lover too."

Ned chuckled. "Sweetheart, the generosity I need from you is you being naked. I'll handle the rest of it."

"This time."

He raised his eyebrows. "How did you want it to be, this time? Since this is your fantasy we're acting out."

"How?"

"What position."

"Oh... um. You on top?"

"And where will you be?" Ned asked, a smile teasing the corners of his lips as he touched the band of her bra.

"On my back, under you. Watching you and feeling you and--feeling us become part of each other. If that's all right. Next time we can act out one of _your_ fantasies. If I can. Having sex in the shower has always looked complicated to me. It's so slippery in there."

"It will be if I do it right," Ned growled, but he was teasing and Nancy couldn't help laughing at the exaggerated leer on his face. Then Ned was tickling her and she was shrieking and squirming away from him, helpless with laughter. Her gown was twisted up around her hips and one strap had fallen down her shoulder.

Then Ned kissed her again, long and deep, so intensely that she shuddered under him. Before she realized what she was doing, she had hooked her leg around him and drawn him close to her. His hips were against hers.

Every other time before this one, she had been the one to stop, to pull away, to tell him she was sorry. It was even more intoxicating than the wine to think that tonight, she wouldn't stop him.

He broke the kiss and she was flushed as she felt his erection pressed against her. "It won't be in the shower," he told her. "Some guys like costumes... and I can just imagine how sexy you would be... in one of those baggy neutral jumpsuits. Maybe some white bedazzled late-Elvis."

"You mean how I've always thought you'd look incredibly sexy in a cheerleading uniform? Tight stretchy pants and an earnest grin..."

"Exactly." He reached down and slid his fingertips between her skin and her panties. "You look sexy in anything, babe."

"And I think you'd look even sexier in nothing at all."

"Right back at you." His eyebrows rose slightly when she stripped her nightie off, then shifted her weight so Ned could slide her panties off.

"Yep. So, so fucking sexy."

"Your turn." Her voice was steadier than she had thought it would be. She and Ned had been close to naked together, but not quite.

Once they were both naked, Ned settled against her again, and when she felt his erection, it was without the thin barrier of their underwear. He kissed her and she slid her arms around him.

"I want it," she whispered. "I want to feel you inside me, Ned. Please."

He nuzzled against her cheek and kissed her earlobe. "And I want it too, babe. You have no idea how much."

She looked up at him, curious, as he pushed himself up. He reached for the bottle of lube and then moved back on top of her again. He slicked his fingers with lube, then stroked her between her legs. She gasped in surprise and how unfamiliar it felt, a little cool against her sensitive flesh.

"Mmm. Sorry. Too cold?"

"A little."

"Sorry, honey. Let me just..."

As he put more lube on his fingers, she gazed up at his face. "Do you--want to use condoms?"

"Do you?"

She shrugged. "I didn't imagine it that way," she admitted in a whisper.

"Then I won't. Although I've never done it without before. The lube's not optional, though. Trust me. I mean, unless you're having some scary allergic reaction to it."

Nancy shook her head. "It just feels slippery and weird. What are you doing?"

"Warming it up with my fingers so it isn't uncomfortable for you. And..."

She arched under him, parting her legs, as he rubbed lube-slicked fingers against her clit for the first time. "Oh my God," she moaned. "Ohhhh, that feels so _good..._ "

She could tell he was grinning when he spoke again. "So you like that, huh?"

" _Yes_ ," she moaned. "Mmmmm..."

"Shit. Babe, can you grab the lube?"

"Ngh." Nancy groped on the bedside table for the bottle. It was so hard to concentrate on anything beyond what he was doing with her. "Ohhh..."

"It feels that much better than usual?"

"Fuck _yes_..." She had her legs parted as wide as she could. "What--this?"

"Here. I need some more... pop the cap and squeeze some onto my fingers..."

After a few unsuccessful tries, she managed to follow his directions. When he stopped touching her clit, she whined in wordless pleading. "More lube?" she asked hopefully.

He chuckled. "I want you to be really slippery inside," he told her. "But I'm glad that's feeling so good for you."

"What if I..." She remembered once when he had asked her to use lube, and squeezed some onto her palm, then warmed it with her hands, before she reached out and wrapped her slicked fingers around his erection.

She knew that she had reacted immediately when he had touched her clit. Ned reacted so fast when she touched his bare cock. He let out a guttural moan, his lashes drifting down. Even though she was disappointed that he wasn't still stroking her, seeing the obvious pleasure on his face gave her a different kind of thrill.

"You still like that?" she murmured, and started to use her other hand too.

Ned groaned loudly. "Remember what I said--about being a--generous lover?"

"Mmm-hmm."

"You're gonna--make me--break that promise."

"But it feels good, right?"

"Fuck yeah, Nan. Mmm." He moved onto his back by degrees, and she moved onto her knees by his side, still stroking him, wondering how long it would take. He tickled her gently and she giggled, and then he grabbed the bottle of lube.

"Open your legs, babe."

She parted her knees, and her mouth fell open as he stroked his slicked fingers against the lips of her sex. "Please touch me like you were again," she said all in a rush, remembering once when he had slid his fingers inside her and she had felt herself clench around him.

"After this hand job, you can have anything you want," he told her. "Just--keep doing that--"

A minute later, Nancy smiled in satisfaction as Ned slumped against the bed, having reached his climax. Her hands were insanely slippery, and she pulled a few tissues from the box beside the bed and scrubbed her palms. Ned was panting, but he was just opening his eyes when she turned back to him.

"Anything?" she said, giving him a wide smile.

"Absolutely anything, anything in the world, beautiful." He brushed his fingertips between her legs, then suddenly reached for her. Even though his hands were slippery, he still managed to grab her hips and move her on top of him. She laughed in delight, then propped herself up so she could look down into his dark eyes. Her knees were on either side of his hips.

"You," she murmured. "I want you, Ned. So much. I love you so much."

He smiled at her. "I've always been yours," he told her. She realized he was putting lube on his fingers again, and wondered if they would be going through a bottle a night once they were married.

Then she realized that if it felt this good, she really wouldn't mind buying cases of it. Ned rubbed his lube-slicked thumb against her clit and she inhaled sharply, propping herself so she wouldn't have to concentrate so hard, and lowered her head so she could nuzzle against his cheek and earlobe.

"I've always been yours," she whispered, rising to a moan at the end. "Ohhhh--oh!"

He rubbed his fingers against her entrance, making it slick, and then worked a finger up inside her as he kept rubbing her clit. She circled her hips, gasping and panting, and found that she was rubbing her breasts against his chest, delighting in the stimulation against her tight nipples.

This wasn't the way she had imagined it--but right now she didn't care, because it felt so incredibly good. She began to move her hips up and down and circle them a little, to ride his finger as he moved it in and out of her, and then two fingers. She kissed his jaw, his cheek, and then they kissed hard, their tongues sliding against each other.

It was almost impossible for her to pull back, but she managed it, panting, her hips still bucking against his touch. "So good, so fucking good, _yes_ ," she gasped. "Oh God..."

"If you hadn't just jacked me off I'd be begging you to ride me," he told her. "You want me to go down on you?"

That was the only thing they had done twice in bed--and _God_ , that had been incredible. She rolled off him and onto her back almost immediately, and Ned laughed. "So, more tickling, or...?"

"Nooooo," she told him. "But--what does the lube taste like?"

"Good question." He wrinkled his nose after he tasted a little. "Not great. Not really meant for that, apparently. I didn't mean to tease you, honey."

"Mmm. Will you do that on our wedding night?"

"Of course. For as long as you want, beautiful." He moved over her, then cupped her breast and fondled her nipple with strokes of his thumb. "But you wanted me on top tonight? Did you still... want to..."

She nodded.

"Still feeling anxious?"

"Not as much." She looked into his eyes. "But if we keep talking about it..."

He leaned down and kissed her, still fondling her breast. "So we won't," he murmured against her lips when they were both panting softly. "If I do anything you don't like, tell me, okay?"

"When have I not?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Told you we were compatible," he murmured. Then he smiled at her, so warmly, so lovingly, that it took her breath away.

"I would tell you that there's no going back from this, but after everything we've been through, after all we've shared... I think it's been a long time since we could have gone back. And this... this won't be our lives, and like you said, we're going to need some practice to get it right... but I want you to know that you mean the world to me. I could lose everything else in my life, but you're my best friend, and my heart, and I love you more than anyone else."

She reached up and stroked his cheek. "Are those your vows?" she whispered.

"They're the vows that are just between us. There will be other ones, when we're up there in front of everyone, but I mean them, Nan."

She searched his eyes. "What I say up there will be for them to hear, and I hate that," she said. "Because what I'd say is that my heart has always belonged to you and only you. What I feel for you is so strong that it scares me and it fills me and it makes me whole. I only feel fully awake, fully alive, when I'm with you. You're my best friend too. You're my heart and my strength and the love of my life."

"And I want to be inside you like I've never wanted anything else."

She smiled. "Teach me," she whispered. "I've saved myself for you, only you, and I want to share this with you. Please."

He moved on top of her, parting her legs and wrapping them around his own waist, and she arched slightly when she felt his cock against her thigh, still slick from the lube she had used. Ned nuzzled against her, his lips brushing her cheek, her neck.

 _Yes._ She ran the fingers of her left hand, the one bearing the weight of her engagement ring, through his dark hair. This was the way she had imagined it. Naked and tangled together, slowly becoming more comfortable with it. She was resolved, now, and her anxiety had become a background hum that only served to heighten the pleasure she felt when he moved against her, when he fondled her nipples, when he stroked her hip.

He kissed her again and she returned it, pinned and vulnerable under him, wanting him, needing him. He deepened their kiss and she clung to him, spreading her legs, and she felt him groan softly against her lips.

"Yes," she whispered.

"We'll never be the same," he whispered. "Baby..."

"Yes," she whispered again.

She whimpered, arching, when he worked two lube-slicked fingers between her legs, fondling her clit at the same time. She panted, tipping her head back, and when Ned bent down and suckled against one of her nipples, she threaded her fingers through his hair in encouragement.

He groaned softly when his renewed erection rubbed against the silk-smooth skin of her inner thigh. She tightened her grip on him and when he shifted, when she felt the head of his cock touch her between her legs, she made herself relax. She had a feeling it would be worse if she were tense.

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you so much," he replied, and she could feel the hushed emotion in his voice. "Oh, sweetheart..."

He moved, and she heard him stroking lube over his cock before he moved into position over her. She gazed into his dark eyes and shuddered when he touched her clit again, and the desire that warmed her chest made her gently rock her hips.

"Just like that," he told her. "Here..."

There was something so unreal, so overwhelming, about being so close to him, about _knowing_ what was about to happen but not knowing either. He kissed her again and she lost herself in it, letting him guide her. He would be her husband, and she wanted to know how to love him, only him.

And his erection touched her again, but this time it was no glancing brush. It was slippery and so warm, and touching her low between her legs, where he had worked his fingers inside her, but it was so much bigger than his fingers. He began to move inside her, to join to her, and she grasped the back of his neck, his shoulder blade, his hip. It was impossible, it was so strange and so complete, so undeniable, and even with all the lube he still felt tight inside her.

She would learn him. Her body would know his, would mold around him.

He moved until she couldn't help it; she tensed, tilting the angle of her hips. Then he rubbed his thumb against her clit again and she gasped, her whimpering becoming quiet cries. His presence inside her stretched her to the point of soreness, and when he moved deeper she arched even more, trying to find a way to calm down and completely failing.

He kissed her again as he filled her, so totally, pushing past the last resistance inside her. She felt like she was going to cry, and a tear did streak down her cheek, but the ache was temporary.

Then he slowly pulled out of her, only to thrust back inside.

She had _known_ , but she hadn't. She gazed at him, at the man who was in so many ways already her husband, and locked it all into her memory: the expression on his face, the way he filled her as he moved inside her, how incredible it felt whenever his body came into contact with her own. Her body shifted with his every thrust; he was _inside her_ , so fully, and she stroked her palm down his back, moving with him on the next one.

The corners of his lips twitched up. "Just like that," he whispered.

She sobbed once when he stroked his thumb against her clit again. It made her hips jolt, and even though she still felt sore inside, the soreness didn't matter so much as the obvious happiness on Ned's face, or the realization of what they were doing together. She moved with him again, again, panting, shivering with arousal.

When they found their rhythm together, she cried out, overwhelmed. "Yes," Ned groaned. "Oh, yes, _Nan..._ "

She couldn't be quiet. She sobbed, and she felt like her body was out of her control, like it was just responding to his, in a way she had never been taught, had never known was truly possible. She moved with his thrusts, she met him, she held him, and when his mouth slanted against hers again, she kissed him back hard, her skin glowing with exertion, her heart pounding.

She knew she was close, she could feel it, but she didn't quite reach her climax. Once the tension had left her panting, whimpering, loose-limbed, Ned moved deep inside her again and groaned as he came.

A shudder slid down her spine as she watched his face. She couldn't believe that his sperm was inside her, rushing into her womb. That they had joined.

It would feel even better next time. Maybe on their wedding night, she would be able to climax with him. Maybe.

Slowly Ned relaxed against her, and she held him, stroking the back of his head, shivering happily when his lips brushed the side of her neck. She wondered idly if she was bleeding now. It had hurt, but not as much as she had feared.

It had been good. It would be even better next time.

He kissed her cheek, slowly, the corner of her lips. "Are you okay?" he murmured.

She grinned. "How was I?"

He grinned, too, as he gazed into her eyes. "Incredible," he told her. "And on our wedding night..."

She nodded. "Thank you," she whispered. "It was so much better than I ever thought it could be."

He brushed the tip of his nose against hers, then gave her the loving smile that made her knees go weak. "It's us, Nan," he murmured. "It was always going to be amazing."

**Author's Note:**

> This story chapter was originally published elsewhere. If you enjoyed it, please consider leaving feedback! I appreciate it.


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